How to create events that build your respect for yourself.
You will never be able to build your self esteem to enjoy the esteem and respect of others if you continue to disappoint yourself. Oddly, many people vigorously do the things that they feel should make them feel proud of themselves but afterwards, it doesn't.
How many times do you take actions or leave actions behind that were supposed to make you sleep better at night but had the opposite effect? How many times have you thought you were doing something healthy for your "karma" to realize that you feel worse afterwards?
Follow these simple guidelines below and you will notice that you walk taller, speak louder, and sparkle with your eyes as you stop fighting yourself.
How to Feed Your Self Esteem
1. Break conditional promises to yourself
You know that the only difference between respect and self respect is the person doing the respecting. It's all based on the same thing. Respect is based on admiration for one who is able to do the right thing in the face of hardship.
Did you notice that respect is based on two components? First is doing the right thing. Secondly, hardship.
In one of my videos, I referred to Pippy Longstocking. There was a scene wherein she watered her flowe
rs in the rain. She said she made a promise to herself and she was going to keep it. From the outside, this looks like an admirable and thing because she kept a promise inspite of hardship. However, this was not the "right thing" to do as the conditions had shifted.
If you do the "hard thing" inspite of a change of conditions, all you will accomplish is telling yourself (subconsciously), that the younger, less informed, earlier version of yourself still wields authority over you now.
If you take your boyfriend / girlfriend out to dinner because you made a promise yesterday but are angry today, you are telling yourself that your younger, less informed, less mature self wields authority over you now.
Where does it end?
If you go down this path, you will honor your childhood self over and above your current more mature self. No wonder you have no self esteem!
2. Keep Unconditional Promises to Youself or Die
Unconditional promises are promises that will stay true even if the entire human race disappears. Even marraige is a conditional promise. You promise to stay together at all costs unless there is infidelity.
Your self-esteem will multiply if you allow yourself to be ok with breaking conditional promises to yourself.
If you are free and guilt free to contradict, change your mind, and break promises, imagine how unburdened you would be.
Harvard Business School teaches it's brightest MBA students to stay true to the mission but discard the means. In otherwords, "flow like water my friend." Live out your moral spirit. Stay true to your moral compass. But throw out the rules. Know that sometimes you have to make a south facing U-Turn to keep going north.
In martial arts, one unconditional promise is to maintain a certain qigong practice schedule no matter the pain. If you give up the training, you simply drink a vial of mercury.
3. Know Which Promises Are Conditional and Which Are Unconditional
Bonus: How to be a mensa level genius at school |
